Hotel Du Vin

Cos, yeah, I hang out here all the time. Wages are good for bog bloggers, as I'm sure you can imagine..

Actually, they were doing a special offer, so I took Mr H there for his birthday. And a lovely time we had too. The resturant was beautiful BUT (da da daaaaah) the toilets, I have to say, were distinctly average:






Now, I realise that they do look quite nice here, but I've discovered that a lot of my ratings have to do with expectations. Consider Saint Caffe (below): it's just a purely functional loo for people who are drinking their coffee. But they've gone to the trouble of putting in a lovely decorative mirror and painting a rose on the wall; unexpected care. I was clearly expecting great things from Hotel Du Vin however, and although it was nice, it just didn't deliver on its promise of extreme luxurious lavatorial joy. OK, so it never promised that; but I would imagine that it did. Yes, maybe I'm now hearing the voices of toilets talking to me ... Time I stopped obsessively hanging out in them ...

Decor: 6/10
Just a bit bland. I do like the little posters that are in each loo, saying 'Byrrh' though (Polish?) Makes me think of some really incongruous farmer type extolling the joys of beer in his West Country twang, for some reason. I say 'incongruous' cos I can't imagine that Hotel Du Vin is the first place they seek out for a refreshing pint after a hard day on the fields. In fact, does anyone even drink beer here? Surely it's all about the vino. Byrrrhhh. Brryyhhhrrr. Anyway, sorry, getting distracted.. They're just a bit dull - was expecting something a bit more French and ornamental. But in fact it was just quite modern and plain. There were some nice little Moroccan stylee side table things from whence you pick up hand-towels though:



Not sure where the random North African influence comes in, but hey ho ... The sinks were quite nice:



("Quite nice". That's such a half-arsed compliment. I wanted these loos to change my life. Perhaps my standards were too high .. )

Cleanliness: 9/10
Pretty damn clean at least. Can't remember anything wrong with them in that department.

Ambience: 7/10
Kind of warm and unpretentious, actually. Maybe it's the Byrrh posters. I guess having it slightly less grand means that it's a bit more relaxed and cosier.

Lighting: 8/10
They've got this right.

Stay & Play: 7/10
There isn't a lot of space to do this. And I always feel slightly like I'm trespassing, if I'm not a hotel guest. Also, everyone is terribly civilised and elegant; makes you feel a bit self-conscious. But it's nice and out of the way and cosy.

Recommendations:
I just think that, considering the reputation and general appearance of Hotel Du Vin, they could have done more. These are loos that I've described as 'quite nice' ... I expected more from one of Birmingham's premium hotels. But then, having been forever scarred by 'Down & Out in Paris and London' (thanks, Orwell ...) I've started to mistrust the facade of even the smartest hotels. And here, the rooms definitely got slightly shabbier the further you went away from the entrance. Suffice to say that the loos were quite near the back. Oh, also Hotel 'Du Vin' - French, right? So what's with the Eastern European 'Byrrhh' posters and the Moroccan furniture? Everywhere in hotel is distinctly French. Odd..