The Red Lion: Hockley

The Red Lion is The Lord Clifden's baby brother; a small but perfectly formed counterpart. As soon as you walk in, the similarities are obvious - nice decor; little bit funky, but still retaining that sense of cosy old-skool.

The toilets, however, are quite different:





A bit tattier; not quite the sleek, Swedish spa effect of the Clifden. They're also quite ... random, not least in terms of actually finding the damn things. The pub is about 1mm squared, yet I still managed to walk around for about 20 mins before I found them. Silly me, of course I should have known that they were down some unmarked back corridor, under a flight of stairs, past your usual concrete area with with your pile of amps:



next to fire escape and up a little flight of tiled stairs! Just like any other pub, really ...

Decor: 6/10
Like I said, not as sleek or cosy as the Clifden, and still with those horrible white plywood cubicles which remind me of school ... They have made some effort however; which is nice. Note little funky handbasins:




AND the piece de resistance: sparkly sparkly loo seats!



Hurrah for disco rims! They bear absolutely no relation to the rest of the decor whatsoever; but I kinda like the fact that someone's just gone; "What the hell, let's just chuck in a couple of random sparkly disco loo seats in here. Just because." Perhaps they are in some way linked with the big pile of amps in the corridor? Who knows ...

And for some reason I do like steps. Anything which has a couple of steps leading up or down into it goes well with me, for some reason. I like levels. (The more I write this blog, the weirder I realise I am ... )

Cleanliness: 7/10
I can't remember there actually being anything dirty in there, but there's just a bit of an aura of tattiness. Let's put it this way; you wouldn't want to lick the surfaces. Mind you, you probably wouldn't do that anyway ... Unless you're the kind of weirdo that, i dunno, chews their own head, or hangs around toilets taking pictures ...

Ambience: 7/10
Hmmmm ... Funnily enough I kinda like the odd mix of tatty and spangly; gives it a bit of character. Although those nasty white cubicles do feel a bit like I'm back in primary school. Less of a cosy vibe than the actual pub itself, which is disappointing.

Lighting: 6/10
Average. Not amazing, not awful.

Stay & play?: 8/10
Again, kinda tiny. But there is a nice corridor/hallway/thing full of amps to spill out into. It does have character, and it is tucked away from the rest of the pub, so it is out of the way - a good retreat; should you need one.

Recommendations:
This is a teeny place with big rock n roll pretentions: note the Marilyn/Moss irreverant pop art. Note big pile of rock n roll amps. Note disco loo seats. Perhaps they should just go the whole hog and throw in a glitter ball, some free coke to snort off the washbasins and glam rock-playing taps?...