Symphony Hall

Birmingham's cultural diamond - Symphony Hall. Home of world-class, ground-breaking acoustic design. Host of musical genius: Elgar, Dvořák, Rattle.

Home of boring grey corporate toilets:






Yawn ....

I did, however, run off to discover the executive loos. Oh yeah, not just any old standard class loos, I'll have you know; but Les Toilettes Executif:



'Executive' clearly just means having the sink in the same room as the loo. Perhaps so that you are saved the unpleasantry of having to wash your hands in the company of the riff-raff - how thoroughly hideous.

I was here on a work do, and had a label with my name on attached to me (as seems to be customary on such occasions) which I managed to leave stuck on the mirror. I bumped into a sophisticated-looking lady on my way out of Les Toilettes Executif; who gave me a funny look. No doubt due to the fact that not only was I taking photos of a loo; but I had also apparently named the mirror 'Fiona'. Hey ho ... All in the name of lavatorial research ...

Decor: 5/10
- Not sure how much grey one person can cope with without starting to sink into some kind of coma ... Like the little rectangular tiles though, and the mirrors are nice and big. Sink area generally quite smart:



Cleanliness: 9/10
- Clearly spotless. If not clinically spotless. That said, in Les Toilettes Executif there was a stray bit of loo roll. AND some uncivilsed ruffian had deemed it acceptable to put a label saying 'Fiona' on the mirror ... The hoi polloi do not know how to behave...

Ambience: 4/10
- OK if you like words like 'corporate' or 'executive'. Not OK if you like words like 'fun' or 'lovely'.

Lighting: 6/10
- Not bad, but a bit harsh

Stay and Play?: 5/10
- Not really possible in Les Toilettes Executif. As far as the other ones there is a nice area near the mirrors (well done designers) for a chat; so can't be all bad!

Reccommendations:
- Ever heard of the word 'personality'? Come on Symphony Hall - you're the host of some of the most beautiful music and ingenious design in the world; at least try and apply a bit of creativity or aesthetic to the loos ... Maybe the toilets themselves could be made to look like tubas ... Or the wash basins could resemble some kind of percussion ... Or at least have a hand drier that plays Pomp & Circumstance when you turn it on .. I dunno ...